this song is for all the people
Jul. 11th, 2007 12:15 am![[personal profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
multiplicativeMedraut still has dreams about Morgause. Sometimes she comes to him, silent and tenderly cruel, but he hates her the most when she, in his dreams, is passionate like she sometimes was, uncontrolled and dominating, with the smell of poisons and promises on her palms. And even though he screams, "No, let me go, don't touch me," he still lets her come near, undress him, touch his naked bared chest in shallow strokes.
Those nights he screams himself awake, and he might be lying on his bed or on the hard floor in Lleu's bedroom, and he'll be so hard it's all he can do to keep from crying. He'll cram his knuckles into his mouth, needing contact of some kind, any kind, chewing frantically and furiously until the pain dampens his discomfort. He can't--won't--mustn't actually-- look at Lleu on these occasions, or everything will go to waste. He'd get caught up in Lleu's eyelashes, his hair spread in a halo of black curls, light falling across his face so that Medraut can't help but admire his skin.
He has dreams not about Morgause too. These are fuzzy unfocused things, about white and winter and someone's hand reaching out for him, and someone's body, the softness of skin, the smell of water. It makes something in him stir, quietly and blindly, like the shape of someone's name he once called out when he was in pain from the darkest depths of his soul. He wakes up tasting it, the words just barely pushing from the fuzziness of sleep, before it disappears.
He tells this to Lleu, who knits his eyebrows archly and declares he has read a fairytale like that when he was a child. Perhaps, he adds, Medraut should consider talking to someone about those visions, as they couldn't be healthy.
For that day, Medraut refuses to forgive Lleu. The next morning he runs out with his freshly made arrows for a hunt, driving his horse faster than it should go through the damp grass, but Lleu finds him anyway. Lleu is panting, still in the bedclothes he slept in, so Medraut takes his cloak and drags it around Lleu's shoulders tenderly, lifts him up onto the horse and walks it back, Lleu's hand
Lleu's body is light, almost weightless, lighter than arrows, lighter than snow. Medraut knows that Lleu can't see himself, can't see how his eyes brighten with the sight of Medraut approaching, can't see how he hurts Medraut unknowingly, with just a word or a look or a touch, deeper than anyone, even Morgause, has hurt him before. But Lleu opens Medraut in a way no one else has either, like a rock splitting to give birth to a sparrow, and Medraut wants to hold Lleu to him to get closer to whatever it is that makes Lleu too sharp and painful for Medraut to embrace with both arms.
Medraut's still a young man, burning with sometimes unspeakable, almost dreadful, desires, and Lleu is beautiful, the most beautiful person Medraut has ever seen, ever wanted, ever needed in his entire--short--life.
I'd finish this but I haven't really touched it for about a year. And I have absolutely no idea where it was going, it's just that I found it the other day and was like, oh this!! What to say. I love you Chrissie? If you ever find me online, remind me to finish the Level E ficlet I started for you too.
The reason why I haven't been online as much is because I'm no longer working at the WTO office! So I do not have access to the Internet for about 8 hours as I surf the web for Chinese service sector info, and am limited to about two hours a day, most of which is spent trying to torrent LoGH episodes that are dead after a week. I'm sorry :(
I love you all and I have pictures, but given the state of my Internet access, I'm really limited to refreshing
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la_foule in hopes that Jackie will out-gay me, and trying to figure out how to keep embarrassing people from friending me on Facebook.
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It may be easier to grab the LoGH eps if you use IRC?
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;-; I've never learned IRC. And with my chances, it is probably blocked by the CCP. XD
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Kali is using them to watch LoGH. They have up to ep 108.
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I SAY THOSE ARE VERY SIGNIFICANT, VERY WORDLY TOPICS :(
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Are we not friends on Facebook?
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And omg, The Winter Prince. That is like the most amazing book ever.
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It really kind of was, like great slash fiction that was published. oh wait, that's kind of what it really actually is. I realyl haven't read it in a while, though. and i never got around to reading the sequel because I couldn't stand the idea of any of them dying.
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I kind of love Lleu in this; didn't like him as much as I expected to in the book -- my sympathy was all for Medraut --
but here can only feel sorry for him, so spoiled and affectionate and vulnerable, though he doesn't know it. And Medraut, God; Morgause/Medraut so dirtywrong. XD
My absolute favorite line was the last:
Medraut's still a young man, burning with sometimes unspeakable, almost dreadful, desires, and Lleu is beautiful, the most beautiful person Medraut has ever seen, ever wanted, ever needed in his entire--short--life.
Would have so loved to read a continuation of the series based on this. Q_Q
(Though, are you sure this wasn't for Sai? :0 Have read the book, but pretty sure I didn't discuss it much with anyone.)
If you ever finish Level E ficlet I will die and then have to resurrect like Lazarus just to show my appreciation and read again, so yes. So much ♥)))))))))).
And, um, the present you ended up with, a joint effort between me and
Hope you enjoy! :D;
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♥
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